Retro, My Ass.

Speaking of the Wispa Gold, there's an ad campaign going on at the moment to promote the newly re-introduced Wispa bars (Someone at Cadbury obviously found the Wispa-making-machine in the back of their shed). The campaign hinges on the fact that Wispas are 'retro' and has some dumb tag-line about the bars being very '80s'.

Well, I remember buying Wispas and in particular Wispa Golds when I was at art college... and that was in 1997. In fact I have a very clear memory of buying one the day after the general election of that year.

Now 1997 is the late 1990s. NOT the 1980s. But obviously the late 1990s aren't trendy enough for the tosspots that sold that campaign to Cadburys. And while 80's nostalgia is all fun to dwell in, it's campaigns like this, which obviously demonstrate that it's been hijacked by the corporate suits with no sense of imagination, that make me cringe. I don't want it ruining the memory of my savouring a confectionery treat whilst discussing the (apparent) demise of Michael Portillo's political career.

I did buy a Wispa bar recently, however. It was delicious.

Too Much Choice Will Kill You

I think I am addicted to Uncle Ben's Express Rice, and I think it's going to be my downfall.

My one major weakness with foodstuffs, and manufacturers have obviously been cottoning on to this in the past few years, is having to try the different varieties that are on offer. It got out of hand with the lemon and yogurt Kit Kat a few years back—they nearly lost me there, I suspected desperation on their part—but on the whole I HAVE to try all the different flavours and ingenious new delivery methods they spend millions on dreaming up. Why, I might be missing out on something that's obviously going to unlock the mysteries of life if I don't. I would be forever in the dark if I had never tried that Wispa Gold all those years ago. I mean, chocolate, WITH CARAMEL! If I stayed away from that fella, I surely would have missed out on that innovative, never-before-or-since marriage of tastes and textures. Thank goodness I gave in.

And so, Uncle Ben's Express Rice comes in roughly a googolplex different varieties. Off the top of my head there's Mexican style, Chinese style, special fried rice style, tomato and basil, mushroom, chicken, golden vegetable...

I thought this was going the same way as the lemon and yogurt Kit Kat... and then today I discovered...

Uncle Ben's Express Risottos.

BASTARDS.